Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
