absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize