Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
