I hate your face
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
