Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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