Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
