and you said cock pushups were impossible
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
