Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize