babies were throwing up all over the place
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize