i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
