He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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