You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
