dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
