Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You ate ashes out of my bong
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
