I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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