apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
