dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Barsexuality is the new black.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
