mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Im part way to drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
