That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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