weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
