lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
