I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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