This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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