There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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