I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
