also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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