i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
