But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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