The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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