You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I look better un-naked...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
