We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
