He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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