I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
