she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
