i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
