Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
