dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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