then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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