I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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