Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
