I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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