So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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