you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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