I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
