Kiss
Puke
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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