he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
