Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
