Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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