i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
