I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
