i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
