told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize