I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
