it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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