I think I am morally bankrupt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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