i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
