Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize