I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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