I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
