how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
