I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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