i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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