So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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