On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
