1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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