so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
