So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
