we have pet lesbian snakes
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
